You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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