Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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