i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
