i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I will pee on everything he values.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
