I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
