I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
