Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
