And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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