Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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