Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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