I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You can't special order awesome
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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