So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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