I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
