If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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