I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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