gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
dude. I can hear the air.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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