me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
