What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Drake has all the answers
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
