where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
