in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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