Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
