It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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