I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
