shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
