she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
