do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
