Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
