last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
