I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
