Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
whose parrot is this?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
