dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
