A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
