I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
