are you still at the devil's house?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
