i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
