just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
