Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
