I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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