Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
