Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
