the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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