God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
