oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
