He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
