ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
