uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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