i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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