Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
