I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He did a backflip because drugs
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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