i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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