I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
