and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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