i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
