do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
