i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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