do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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