She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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