im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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