if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
