you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
