maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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