you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
