I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
