Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
