we made out on top of his cat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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